Home...

Location: Latrobe St Home, Melbourne

Time: 4pm (ish) BKK time - that's about 8pm locally I think

Feeling: i don't want to get on the plane tomorrow :(((

Weekend nearly over... Have to get on the plane tomorrow to go back to BKK. Was meaning to do work on the weekend but just can't bring myself to do it...

I actually don't really have a lot to write about. Have not been pondering a lot - had quite a busy weekend. I did think Vik and I were going to have a conversation this weekend but she went camping with her boy (Tim I think - and before anyone asks - I don't know anything about it or about him). And that's despite the fact that Sharon was having her birthday party on Saturday and invited people ages ago. And after I told her that I'm not going to be back in Melbourne all of February... *shrug* Priorities I suppose.

She just got home and I think she is home now but avoiding me BIG TIME. Haven't even said hello. Whatever. I can't be bothered anymore. If she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to talk...

So really that's the only thing on my mind that's bugging me.

*Sigh* Now I have to go and think happy thoughts. Look for my zen. Etc. *Huuuummmmmmmm*

yay! i'm home!

Location: Latrobe St Home, Melbourne !!

Time: 7:30am (BKK time), I think it's around noon locally

Feeling: pretty happy, and sleepy (of course)

That's all I've got for now.... Good to be home. I love my bed.

Colleague/Friend back at BKK got into a car accident yesterday morning. Not a bad one - a motorbike rammed the taxi from a side. She's ok- just shaken.

No other news.

9 hours to go!

speaking of which... looks like no nap for me tonight... :/

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Location: 2208, Sheraton Sukhumvit, BKK

Time: 11pm (ish)

Feeling: emotional

Reading: a diet book

It's been an interesting day at work. A bit of emotion flowing all around, some drama, some confrontations... That's what you get when you get people to live together overseas... I don't even know where to start explaining... Fark it, am not going to bother.

I should probably get to work anyway. Got heaps to do before I get on the plane tomorrow (which leaves at 8am in the morning, giving me approximately 6 hours to finish work, pack and nap before I get on the plane).

Also had 2 D&Ms with work colleagues, briefly thought about quitting to escape past history at the firm and all the freaking rumours that just won't go die and now needing an outlet to help me think things through.

I think I just need a hug. Another one. (Had one from Lillian, gave one to James and now I'm just very very tired.)

*Sigh*

Sunburn update: peeling BIG time - shedding skin on my back like there's no tomorrow, slightly less peeling on my face and my right knee still has blisters that haven't popped. I now remember why I don't like the outdoors.

Right. Back to work. And to searching for my zen.

Randoms

BIG *wodzha*!

http://www.solsup.com.au/greenman/bigrabbit.jpg

Q: where should I move my blog to? Blogger? What else is out there? I'd like to be able to control who has access...

are we there yet?

Location: sheraton BKK

Time: 1am (ish)

Feeling: fat, bloated, unfit, tense, depressed and sunburnt. and maybe a little bit stressed

Feeling like a huge fat blotched unfit tomato. Having trouble sleeping. Which is a first. Want to crawl under a blanket and not get out.

Doesn't seem appropriate to post it, but fark, who else am I going to whinge to?

Also nearly threw up the dinner. It's still trying to come up. Hmmm

Not long until home now! I miss home...

What else can I whinge about? I feel bossed around. And have no spare time. Or time to myself. Or time to go the gym. Keep having late dinners which is contributing to the state of permanent bloatation.

And did I mention I was broke?

I think I need a break. I don't think I spent a period of longer than 6 hours (ie sleeping) away from work colleagues. Maybe that's what's freaking me out. I don't think I'm a people person. I need a break.

Face is peeling severely (nose in particular). MD walked in this morning singing a song about Rudolf.

I think back is peeling too but I can't tell. I need a massage but can't do anything coz of sunburn...

Whingewhinge. Wheeeeenge. Whingewhinge.

*Sigh*

PS In other news: Julsie is now Mrs Haiko, Parents definitely coming to BKK on the 2nd Feb, Rami called from Seoul, and I'm flying home in ~36 hours.

YAY I'm getting comments! (on the blog)

Am getting different comments in real life - like "hello, tomato"

Life is average...

Location: Client Office, Rama III, BKK

Time: 9am

Reading: Interview with a Vampire, Anne Rice (better than expected)

Feeling: depressed

This year is not off to a good start. Am starting the year fat, broke (see my NY resolutions #2 and #1, respectively), blonde (see my ranting re Thai hairdressers) and NOW I am also looking like a swollen blotchy red tomato thanks to my seasickness-induced nap on a dive boat.

Need I say more? *Sigh*

Also, would not recommend the Le Meridien at Khao Lak. Luxury prices for beautiful property but incredibly crap service. I've had better service in backpacker inns. I'll be calling the hotel manager to complain. I went for a sunburn treatment - and they wrapped me in dry towels on top of aloe vera gel. I stuck to the towel, unsurprisingly, and had to be peeled off, experiencing highly acute pain. I had to check if the skin on my back was still attached to me. I came out worse than before the treatment. Not a happy bunny.

The food was also REMARKABLY bad. The staff didn't really speak English - I guess it's not surprising. Khao Lak was one of the worst hit by the tsunami and they have trouble finding people. My answer to that is training... Either train them or don't charge exorbitant prices... Geesh... (eg. tennis racket = want to check out?, peppermint = coffee tea, tea = coffee, ceasar salad with chicken & no bacon = ceasar with bacon and no chicken, not to mention random cables provided, 10 mins = 50 mins.... )

And my nose started peeling already...

Work: Feeling a bit disconnected from everyone else. I think we've been spending a lot of time together and I've had no down time. I think my brain is forcing me to shut down socially for a couple of days... I wouldn't mind crawling under a blanket and staying there for a few days.

PS Have been reading Polina's & Jack's Blog - how I miss Europe! :/

I think my European visit is long overdue. I just can't decide whether to do a trip or focus my energy on getting funding to do some "peace consulting" with Denya in Romania... Maybe there other NGOs... In Paris... Or Rome... Hmmmm

quickie update

Location: Client office, Rama III, BKK

Time: 11am (ish)

Feeling: tired, need a massage, can't wait for the weekend

Going to Khao Lak this weekend. La Meridian is supposed to be very nice there. I'm getting used to napping at all these exotic locations /resorts. I don't know how I'll adjust to life back home... Hmm.

http://www.starwoodhotels.com/lemeridien/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=1847 (is the place we booked to stay. looks lovely...mmm)

On the other hand, I am also getting thoroughly sick of the BKK airport, the humongous monster that it is. I swear, it is so large that it probably sits across a few postcodes (if BKK has postcodes....).

Very tired today as I ended up staying up last night watching this movie - I couldn't go to bed, I needed to know what was going on. I googled "booby trap cube prison sci fi" and finally found the movie http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cube_Zero

Very bizarre. AND it did not have a happy ending. So I was feeling a bit let down at 2am in the morning.

Bringing parents over to Thailand in a couple of weeks. Trying to organise all the stuff. Hoping to take them to Krabi over the weekend.

No other news. TGF. But still so early... SIGH.

google thyself...

Location: 2511, Sheraton, BKK

Time: 7am (ish) (OUCH)

Feeling: as to be expected at 7am...

Was googling my job manager yesterday (she was complaining her name was hijacked by a religious fanatic) - the website with her name was hilarious.

Decided to google myself to see what comes up.

http://www.ecom.unimelb.edu.au/faculty/events.html

am almost famous... haha...eh

Hair update: less traumatised than before. Decided to wait for hair to recover before doing anything. Co-workers didn't seem as shocked. Some of them said "did you do something to your hair?" and "but you were blonde before...". I'm guessing I may've overreacted. Still I'm very blonde and still get a shock when I look in the mirror.

Ponderings: decided that I have to learn to suck up in order to make my life easier at work. The presentation and schmoozing skills seem to compensate for content and analytics to a large extent. And it takes partners a long time to notice the holes beneath the smooth exterior (forever really). So I decided it's a skill i have to pick up to an extent .... (presentation ok, schmoozing is a bit eww)

I shall keep you posted, my fluffy ones...

ps did I mention that Thai people wear slippers at work? It's very bizarre...

*sigh*

Location: 2511, Sheraton

Time: 7am ish

Feeling: sleepy

Oh man I don't want to leave the room. Well actually, I don't want to leave the bed. But this is altogether another level. Am feeling sorry for myself. It's been kind of "why me?" for the past few days. But we are only up to 2 shitty occurences. So there's at least one more to come. They never come along. It's always a streak. So really, 3 reasons for not wanting to leave the safety of my bed... :/

OMG

Location: 2511, Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit, fr**ng BKK

Time: 10pm (ish)

Feeling: quite upset actually

I went to a hairdresser today at one of the most expensive malls in BKK (expensive must be good, right?) to a Shiseido Hair Salon and they PEROXIDED me!!!!! Upon having asked for "natural looking highlights" and a cut to layer my hair and remove weight from the top, they proceeded to do something involving brushes and foils for 2.5 hours, after which they spent 5 hours snipping around my head. At the end, I kept asking "Are you finished?!?", "That's very quick...", "Are you sure you're finished??" which turned into "OMG, I am BLONDE", "OMG that's so light" once I actually put my glasses on. I kept complaining as they tried to usher me out and kept shaking their hands with thumbs up and saying "oooh...goood...ooooh...natural".

So now I have a dilemma of whether or not to go to work. I was contemplating going back in the morning and getting them to do SOMEthing. But I'm actually scared - I am not sure if I want them touching my hair again.... I mean, I;ll go there, ask for low-lights and walk out with black hair or something. I mean, if my hair is supposed to look natural, what the hell are they using as a benchmark?! A Barbie?!?!

Anyway... I think I'll still ring them and abuse. I don't know if they actually have someone who speaks English as opposed to pretend to speak English...

*sniff sniff*

I think my colleague (Lillian) may come with me tomorrow - she's American and she ALWAYS gets her message across. I don't know if it's because she is American or because she is Lillian. Besides I can't work out what the hell is happening at the back of my head. All I can see is the front - which makes me "Baywatch" material...

And did I mention the managing partner may be in tomorrow? This is the man who thinks that grey suits are insufficiently conservative, one should never wear sweaters/vests at work and that shirts should only be white.

Although, one point of view (as expressed by Lillian) is that my hair looks grey in patches and thus makes me look more mature - around 40 yo.

Goody.

Sunday morning

Location: 2511, Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit, BKK

Time: 11 (ish) am

Feeling: slightly seedy, hungry, mildly stressed, a bit out of it

Friday night was rather interesting - we (as in co-workers) decided to check out the new bar that's opened downstairs at Sheraton. Made reservations etc. Unfortunately for all involved, I was the first to arrive - upon my arrival I was interrogated at the door (they didn't believe that I had a reservation), finally, they let me in and followed me around the bar as I looked for the rest of the group. No one was there, more questions - so I said, ok I'll just sit at the bar and wait for them. At which point I got told it was against bar's regulations for a female to sit at the bar. I was getting a bit narky - alone the lines of "where CAN i sit then", proceeded to stalk out of the bar and bumped into the next (male) colleague to arrive who convinced me to stay as we needed to wait for others.

So, I'm sitting there growling and they must've decided situation was not ideal - so they proceed to give us two (disgusting) cocktails for free and apologise to my (male) COLLEAGUE about the number of questions etc. I was FUMING.

Anyway, a bit later in the night - an ideal opportunity arose when the manager of the hotel walked into the bar. I proceeded to tell him my sob story - alone the lines of "Who did they think I was???" and "I've never felt like that" and "I'm just not used to such blatant discrimination". He apologised, the manager of the bar apologised and the night ended up being on the house. At which point we proceeded to drink 3-4 bottles of Veuve Clique. I felt a bit better after that.

Needless to say, this managed to get me quite beyond tipsy and the rest is a blur. I needed to take the Saturday just to recover. I don't even know how it happened. Just suddenly hit me when we got to Qbar. Sigh. So much for my resolution of not drinking that much. Well, I'll keep trying I guess.

About to go and do brunch at Sukothai.

Wednesday Night's Pondering

Location: Client Office, Rama III, BKK

Time: 6:30pm

Feeling: very drained

4 hour meeting is too long I've decided. It totally exhausts my mental capacity. Crap another meeting...

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Time: 8pm

Feeling: quite alert actually. but farken freezing.

another 1.5 hour meeting. hmmm. going home... shall finish later...

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Time: 11pm

Feeling: completely wiped and a bit paranoid

Yes... It looks like I am not really going to have an opportunity to ponder. Having finished the above mentioned meetings, on the way to the hotel in the cab managing partner suggests dinner (you just don't say "no"...). So here I am... 1.5 hour dinner later. By far the most intimidating occurence of the day.

It was actually really interesting. We got to hear about his background - it's completely not what I expected. He grew up in Byron Bay in a family of hippies with quite a bit of farked up stuff in the family...

And also hearing a bit about his views on professional appearance, personal grooming, table manners and how drastically those affect your perception in the eyes of the client. Kind of explains why our firm is ultra conservative. Kind of makes sense I guess - I am still not sure whether it makes sense in all situations. However, I guess white shirt + black suit, immaculate grooming and table manners = the most risk averse strategy - much better odds...

So yeah... Vik... Well... I finally replied. I don't think that it's really a good way to have this sort of discussion via email. Such a risk of misunderstanding. I still don't think she understood what I'm trying to say. Which is that I'm not over her decision to have a "break" in the friendship. It hurt and I'm confused as to what has changed now and why she would want to talk about it seeing that she is living the country pretty much within weeks of me getting back from Bangkok (if that indeed does happen).

Aaaaaaanyway. Not a lot of resources left for pondering. In fact, my right eye waters when I try to think too hard.

A bit disappointed that no one shared their views on the ethics of blogging personal matters involving 3rd parties. Very un-enlightening.

[no title]

Location: Client Site, Rama III, BKK

Time: 7pm

Feeling: tired and drained

This fight with Vik has been pretty emotionally draining. It also took up a better part of my working day. All this angst via email! I will need botox 5 years sooner after this I think.

I think things are resolved but I'm not sure. I don't think I've made myself understood but who knows. I don't really know how to get across what I'm thinking. It has moved way beyond the original incident and into "do you want to be my friend" zone. I don't actually know the answer to that.

And now that I actually know that there are people out there reading my ramblings (Denis emailed me saying "ouch") I wonder whether I should be posting things of such personal nature. Is it fair to Vik? Probably not. But man, I was FURIOUS. I needed to do SOMETHING. And then if I don't post what I think/feel or about things that are bothering me, then what is the point of this thing?

I actually wouldn't mind some comments on the ethics /morals /niceties of this situation... What would you do? You, my dear friends, reading this, must have some opinion on what one does in such a situation?

I can't really see clearly on this one...

ps The incident actually wasn't as bad as I thought /assumed - apparently "nothing much" happened... Possibly knowing that may've lessened the degree of my anger. But they why not say "we kind of fell asleep on your bed because mine was too small". Maybe it's a communication problem. I have that with Vik a lot... As to be highlighted by the current argument that is raging where we just go around in circles. And I'm still confused by the "understanding" that we reached. I don't think she got what I was meaning to say. *Sigh* Some days just suck.

pps And apparently my shirt is very tight today. My colleagues have been taking the piss out of me for the last 8 hours. It appears that when I put on a bit of weight, a lot of it went to my cleavage area. So now all my shirts are tight around there. And allegedly they can see my white lacy bras and I should wear flesh coloured ones. *roll eyes* Gym time tonight, I swear...

Gotta love the homeland...

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/08/world/europe/08russia.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5094&en=50653a9969b501f6&hp&ex=1168318800&partner=homepage

Not sure whether to laugh or to cry!

'Tis open season on ...

(xxx)

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Location: Client office, Rama III, BKK

Time: 2pm

Feeling: still furious

So... quick summary of events thus far.

1) Am spewing. Furious. Fuming. Gavno kipit i par idet is ushei ("my shit is boiling and steam is coming out of my ears" would be the literal translation) About xxx using my bed to make out and sleep. And then not acting either apologetic or even like it's a big deal. So yes, I blew the lid and said that it's a total breach of trust, invasion of sanctity of my home and privacy, that i'll never live with her again and in fact that I intend to move out now as soon as I'm back.

It has since then evolved into a full-blown fight about much deeper issues than that. But man I am still SO furious about it. (....done some editing having calmed down a little bit and read back on my rant.....) I am plotting revenge and it won't be pretty. (yeah I am kind of over it... I figured posting it on the blog helped though. I needed to rant.)

2) I keep trying to feed people today. I think if I offer my colleagues one more cookie they are going to whack me. I think it's hormonal. Possibly.

3) Hua Hin's Evason and the Six Senses Spa were good. Really lovely surroundings but the spa experience was a bit average. But I have become a snob when it comes to Spas.... Man, BKK lifestyle is spoliling me.

4) Day is still young. May have more developments before the end of the day.

Travel Plans

Location: Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit, BKK

Time: 10pm

Feeling: efficient

Right... as promised to various parties, I have finally worked out my next return date to Melbourne - I aim to be in town on the 26 Jan and to be leaving again on the 29th Jan.

After that, I'll be back in Australia but possibly only Sydney on either the second or third week of Feb - depending on when the meeting/training thing for the company takes place in Syd.

Mmm. What else... Going to Hua Hin this weekend. Managed to get a Thai residents' rate at a resort there (http://www.sixsenses.com/evason-huahin/). Looks pretty good. Have to say that tourists get ripped off shamelessly (the residents' rate is less than half of normal price).

Other than that, nothing of interest to report. Work as per usual. Troubles with the tailor continue. My social life continues to wither (unless you count hanging out with work colleagues... Does that count?? I feel like it should...)

ps Read an article today in Bangkok Post about blogs... Apparently in US, employers are beginning to read candidates' profiles and their blogs on myspace etc with a view to helping them out with selection etc... Seems highly invasive... And I think I'm only now beginning to realise how public blogs really are... I feel like I should watching what I say but that defeats the whole purpose of the blogs huh... I might look into "permission-based access" or something along these lines.

Just thought I'd share... Hm.