The Melbourne Daily - sort of

[Monday]

There has been a bit of a lapse in my writing. I have managed to move a little bit beyond the denial phase and get into work. Mostly it was stress that pushed me out there. It was getting to be 1 week before the workshop and initial deliverable and I still had nothing. So I crammed for quite a bit, including the weekend and now appear to have a document of sorts.

And I got distracted….

[continuing on Tuesday]

Yes so back to it I suppose. 9 days left. However, have a workshop to lead/ facilitate tomorrow. Which is a bit stressful. I hate these things. Stress, responsibility. And it’s not even that interesting – at least this particular topic. But then again, I’d say that about ANY topic that I had to lead a workshop about. As I keep saying, on days like these, I wish I was a hairdresser. Or a yoga instructor. Or a PA. Actually, my perfect job would be a ‘mattress tester’. Oh yeah….

9 days left. No news on my passport still. A bit concerning, I think. If nothing happens by Thursday, I’m going to have to call their rip-off hotline again. Where they first charge you $10 on your credit card and then proceed to tell you that they can’t help you with your query. Lo-ve-ly.

What else? Bored. I’m bored. And stressed. That’s a nasty combination, I tell you…

The Melbourne Daily - Thursday

Time: 8pmish
Location: Office, Rialto, Melbourne
Feeling: not happy

Today has not been a good day. HSBC in UK doesn't want to give me more than 10k GBP for living expenses for 2 years. They want me to live under a bridge! Far out! What the... ! How am I supposed to survive on that??? B@stards!
It's not like I'm a risky loan - I HAVE to go back to this job afterwards. NOT happy.

I also don't have my visa just yet. After 3 weeks, I thought I'd check on the progress of the application and just check whether they have at least received it! After trying to get through for days, I finally did, and, after taking down my credit card details and charging me $10 for the pleasure they told me that they can't give out any information about the progress of my application or indeed even confirm whether or not they received it. GGRrrrr

And I have a 6:30 am flight tomorrow morning. Fan-******-tastic.
Where's a stressball when you need one! Grphmph.

The Melbourne Daily

22 days to go
Time: 9am
Location: Rialto, Melbourne
Feeling: like I don't want to work

It has been pointed out to me that my post-holiday trough is disproportional to the actual holiday taken. 2 weeks vs 2.5 weeks. Yes, that is true. However I’ve been in denial about it until Monday. So really the trough didn’t truly kick in until 2 days ago. So now we are back to normal expectations of the typical trough.

Quote of the day is quite interesting, unlike my horoscope for today, and I leave you with it:

“When work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery.” – Maxim Gorky

So true.

Has anyone out there found a type of work that is a pleasure? And if so, care to tip me off? I’m thinking I’d make a good PA/EA. I like organising stuff. Or maybe an events company could be my thing.

PS does anyone know how to install a counter on the blog??

Date: Tuesday, 8 July, 2008 - 23 days to go
Location: Office, Rialto, Melbourne, Australia
Feeling: bleah-ish. I don't want to work (what is that feeling called?)

I feel a liiiiittle bit better today which makes me think that this is a post-holiday depression trough. With my luck, I will probably just come out of it when it is time to finish.

Nonetheless, the days seem to drag on and on. I guess I’m also not really enjoying what I’m doing. It’s an organizational restructure for an NGO. It’s not exactly my area of expertise and I’m struggling a bit with it. I’ve also been given a new role on this assignment – actually managing this thing. So lots of responsibility in an area where I have no idea, instructing a brand new consultant and I have 3.5 weeks. Sub-optimal, as I like to say. I don’t really want responsibility right now. Or work really. Let alone actually be learning something new, as I’m about to leave.

On a different note, have been doing a bit of packing and discovered piles and piles of blank postcards. So, now I’m trying to reduce the pile by sending them around! Be prepared… It just seems so wasteful to just leave them lying there. My writing just doesn’t keep up with my buying.

Eh. Back to work.

Date: 7 July 2008, Monday morning
Time: 10am
Location: Office, Rialto, Melbourne
Feeling: bored, stressed, depressed, and all those other negative feelings

Do you ever feel when you are sitting there doing boring, meaningless work that doesn’t matter, that you are recklessly wasting precious time??

I actually don’t have a problem with mindless repetitive work because you are not forced to expend thinking effort on the problem. Your mind is free to wonder. It is a lot worse when it is not. You have to apply all your mental faculties to a boring uninteresting tedious problem. It’s just so dull. And wasteful. It’s just not right.

It’s kind of like learning statistics (but that’s a personal call). I think some would agree – that’s one type of maths that I find inherently unrewarding.

I think this is possibly the crux of the problem – I am finding my work at the moment thoroughly unrewarding. There’s gotta be a better way to make a living. It’s possible that I’m missing the planes/airports. Sleep deprivation acts as a great distracter. Whenever I’m sleep deprived, it’s actually easier to concentrate on a boring unrewarding task at hand because as soon as I finish it, I can get a nap. Once one has had a nap, one has the brain capacity to start wondering about the day-to-day existence. And that’s when one realizes the inherent dullness of working for a living. Why? Why do we work? Why do we need jobs? There must be better alternatives to this.

Actually, I remember coming across a book on this topic in Polyester Books (I love that bookstore). I must get it.

Or as dad just put it on the phone: "delau takoe gavno chto dazhe vremya zhalko"

PS: And just in case anyone missed the bit of news from NZ where a man assaulted another man using hedgehog as a weapon. Hedgehog was found dead :((( Should go to jail for cruelty to the hedgehog. :((

I also have to ask, where does one get a hedgehog in NZ? In particular, when one decides to assault another man. Does one just look around and lo and behold, there's a random hedgehog handy?

I love hedgehogs.