and i'm sick again....

Location: Haus International, Schleining, Austria
Time: 10am, Thursday morning, 16 August, 2007
Feeling: sick as a dog, sorry for myself, cold/hot, miserable

Need I say more? Every single holiday I take. Sigh.

It also came on so suddenly that I got a headspin. I probably should not have been drinking though - I had 2 glasses of wine last night and went from feeling mildly unwell to being unable to get home unassisted. Well I did get home unassisted but geez it was hard. Walking uphill with a spinning head. I had to rest mid-way.

I did have an interesting thought though, as I lay shivering in bed at midnight. I was wondering why people feel embarrassed to say how they really feel - in front of strangers anyway. As I struggled out of the pub, I kept maintaining that I feel fine and just a bit tired, so I might go to bed. Is this a common phenomenon, or is this just me?

Thinking back, I could come up with a LOT of examples when I was simply not comfortable telling people how sick I felt, and frankly, I probably shouldn't be left alone let along making my way home unassisted. Does anyone else get that? Same thing with intoxication. I will never EVER admit that I'm so pissed I don't know how to get home to a person I don't know well....

Perhaps the most extreme example I could remember was during a martial arts class back in uni days. I had a near-faint (I think I forgot to eat for a day or two, or something) - and I managed it in such a manner that no one except one person next me actually noticed... I carefully just backed out, went around the corner and waited while the blacking out bit passed over or took over. Luckily it passed over, but I was so exhausted afterwards I was scared to go home. And yet, when asked if I was ok, I said 'oh, just a bit dizzy'. And then caught a train home. Fuckin' weird, hey?

I don't know... Just a thought... I do usually tell friends how bad it is though...