Highly unusual question for me. It does happen though.
I haven't actually tried to fall asleep for an inordinately long time. Yet, for someone who is usually asleep before the head hits the pillow, 30 minutes of rapid thought rather than slow drifting is out of the ordinary.
I don't know why I find my brain suddenly ignited by thought. Maybe it's the midnight hour. Maybe it's the book I just finished.
Speaking of the book I just finished... "It is not that I feel tremendously low; it's rather that the world around me appears high"... Maybe that is why I cannot sleep. Why is the world around me so high? What do they know that I do not? How do people go on with life untroubled by a sense of absurdity that plagues most of the activities we fill our time with? I am clearly missing the point. In fact, I am sure of it.
2 comments:
Actually often the absurdity of the most activities is what partially helps me to get through the days -> if they are absurd to begin with than it is easy to accept the failure, the rejection, the difference of opinion, etc and to find meaning in small things. At times I feel that my main (only?) reason for being here is to notice the beauty that surrounds me. You know the "I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it" (Alice Walker "The Color Purple"). Maybe the answer is to figure out what activities have meaning for you and do them. I struggle with both parts and I suspect many people do as well, but fill in their lives with whatever is the easiest available option to silence the voice inside.
BTW my word of the week is conviviality.
Hm. Good advice, however my problem is finding the motivation to get out of bed. Not many things get me out of bed. Even less things make me happy to get out of bed for them...
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