Bangkok Weekly - 5th May, 2008

Time: 11:45am
Day: Monday
Location: My apartment on Sukhumvit Soi 8, Bangkok
Feeling: nauseous (no idea...), a bit down, somewhat confused, a quite a bit stressed

Let me expound on those a bit, tackling them one at a time:

Nauseous: appears to be some kind of motion sickness. It's possible that it is my body saying 'please, no more wine and cheese'. Of course, it's also possible that my body is confused due to it getting exercised for the first time in weeks. Could be a combination. Whatever the case, I'm trying to avoid moving my head.

A bit down: Work. I think I need to think about changing my job... Just gotta find a way of dealing with bus school fees...

Somewhat confused: Buzz left yesterday to go back to Melbourne. I don't think he is coming to London. That is the impression I get from the way he talks about work and stuff. He randomly mentions coming to London but I remain unconvinced. He is trying to get a promotion at work. He loves his job I think. Also, he has inertia in general, I think. It was a challenge just to get him to come for a visit in Thailand (and also took a really long time). I cannot imagine him actually making a move to London... I also don't know how it would work. We seem to have a lot of trouble living together. I resent spending so much time cleaning up. He resents that I just can't live with mess. He thinks I'm a snob. I think he is a slob. He doesn't like it when I'm right. I tend to be right a lot. Probably because I'm a realist (not that that's a good thing - they give me drugs for that). So yes, to summarise I have no idea what is happening or going to happen. To make it worse, I'm not sure what I want to happen. I think he is more or less the same. So we've been jointly ignoring the issue.

Stressed: A lot to organise for London. There's also the uncertainty around the office transfer. It could be that I end up god-knows-where before I know it... Meanwhile, I've done nothing - have no tickets, no visa, no research, no essays, no loan, no packing, no preparation, NOTHING. Have big plans for today in terms of getting organised and stuff. (It's a public holiday in Thailand).

So yes - quick snapshot of my life.