Weekend. Thank god.

Sunday, 11 April, 2010
Time: 2:33pm, early morning
Location: Kil&Burn
Feeling: disoriented

... Ooops. Had a nap and woke up at 5pm. Sh!T!

Time: 6:30pm
Feeling: Slightly recovered. Still exhausted. Still disoriented. Slightly stressed.

Word of the day: Amorphous: lacking definite form, having no specific shape, formless; of no particular kind or character, indeterminate, having no pattern or structure, unorganised

2YP. I have grown to hate you. And all other ships.

Superheroes

Wed, 7 April, 2010
Location: Home
Feeling: groggy from another 4 hour nap. Bliss :)

Today's class has provoked a serious contemplation of Pokemon's superpowers. What do they actually do?!? It was a key question that I spent much of class researching (iPhone). I was not able to come to a satisfactory conclusion. However, according to my neighbour in class, in a spoof cartoon called 'Drawn Together' (spoof superhero version of The Big Brother the Pokemon character, whenever disappointed, secretes a substance that the other superheroes are addicted to.

Eh right. So I just spent the two hours watching it on YouTube and thus no time to write anymore...

Life on Mars

Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Location: Home (NW2 4SJ)
Feeling: Sick. Was v tired due to 8:15 am class, but a 4 hour nap fixed that right up. Hm.

Accidentally deleted a paragraph I've written before. Not happy.

So yes - I continue to procrastinate as piles of reading on managing change, work on second year project and pages of unanswered emails await me.
It was a good day today. I got to wear my new winter coat which looks and feels like a tent. I feel cosy in a tent :) Also got to contemplate repercussions of discovery of extraterrestrial life in class. Whenever an MBA class results in such a contemplation, it is a good day.
So, in doubt about the likelihood of extraterrestrial life and needing to unearth the latest in the search for such, I turn to Wiki....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraterrestrial_life
So no aliens for now. Oh well.

Word of the day: (2 today!)
sentience: the ability to feel or perceive subjectively
sapience: wisdom /ability of organism or entity to act with appropriate judgement

Ran into a person in the street today that freaked me out and made me very uncomfortable (eeky) for no apparent reason. It took me a while but eventually I worked it out. It was because his facial features reminded me of Ross. Even mentioning his name produces the same feeling. Morbid curiosity forced me to look him up on facebook. Where he does indeed exist. I was relieved to see that we have no friends in common. *Phew*
I do hope Mischball, with the same morbid sense of curiosity and desire for trouble (which is MUCH stronger than my own) actually goes ahead and adds him. *Shudder*

It's interesting when the desire to clean and organise strikes. I haven't noticed a pattern as yet. I had a sizeable Spring Clean yesterday. I have even started an attempt to computerise my wardrobe... I am distracted by a question which increasingly bothers me... Why is there a ladybug infestation in our apartment??? Seriously?
I mean, it beats cockroaches, but it is still odd, no???

Monday, 5 April, 2010
Time: noon-ish
Location: Home at NW2 4SJ
Feeling: sick (literally - blocked nose, eyeballs ready to pop out, headachy and narky). I suppose the last one is not really a symptom. Otherwise I'd be classified as sick all the time. muahaha

What can I say. Birthday (and entry into the 30ies) has brought with it some topics for contemplation.

One of which was, rather unattractively, was snot. As I tried to blow out all my accumulated supplies of nasal mucus before bedtime, I wondered as to the actual composition of this substance (that and also whether anyone has ever drowned overnight in it before). Subsequently, one of the first tasks this morning was to wiki the booger. I know you are all wondering, so here are some highlights:

Nasal mucus is produced by the nasal mucosa, and mucal tissues lining the airways (trachea, bronchus, bronchioles) is produced by specialized airway epithelial cells (goblet cells) and submucosal glands. Small particles such as dust, particulate pollutants, and allergens as well as infectious agents such as bacteria are caught in the viscous nasal or airway mucus and prevented from entering the system. This event along with the continual movement of the respiratory mucus layer toward the oropharynx, helps prevent foreign objects from entering the lungs during breathing. Additionally, mucus aids in moisturizing the inhaled air and prevents tissues such as the nasal and airway epithelia from drying out. Nasal and airway mucus is produced constitutively, with most of it swallowed unconsciously, even when it is dried.

Increased mucus production in the respiratory tract is a symptom of many common illnesses, such as the common cold and influenza.... The presence of mucus in the nose and throat is normal, but increased quantities can impede comfortable breathing and must be cleared by blowing the nose or expectorating phlegm from the throat. Tears are also a component of nasal mucus

Generally nasal mucus is clear and thin, serving to filter air during inhalation. During times of infection, mucus can change colour to yellow or green either as a result of trapped bacteria,^[5] or due to the body's reaction to viral infection.^[6]

In the case of bacterial infection, the bacterium becomes trapped in already clogged sinuses, breeding in the moist, nutrient-rich environment.Antibiotics may be used to treat the secondary infection in these cases, but will generally not help with the original cause.

In the case of a viral infection such as cold or flu, the first stage and also the last stage of the infection causes the production of a clear, thin mucus in the nose or back of the throat. As the body begins to react to the virus (generally one to three days), mucus thickens and may turn yellow or green. In viral infections, antibiotics will not be useful, and are a major avenue for misuse. Treatment is generally symptom-based; often it is sufficient to allow the immune system to fight off the virus over time

So, there you go. Never say I'm not educational.

Another topic of contemplation was, rather unsurprisingly and banally, an existential crisis. No more on that one for now.

What else. Hm. It's been mentioned that I need resolutions. I'm trying to come up with a list... My usual ones include:
1) Exercise (agree. but must be not sick to do so...)
2) Be nice to people (except I keep forgetting why...)
3) Try to get out more... (again... sometimes I forget. Plus hard to beat napping...)
Hm. What else?

Location: Nash Lounge, LBS, London

Time: 3pmish

Feeling: restless

Classic link: http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

Why can't I own a Canadian? Valid question.

Last week of term here. Swamped with work. Long to do list. Can't get motivated. Can't concentrate. Eek. Could use a nap. The latter probably doesn't come to anyone as a surprise.

Actually everything is pretty much done except the 2nd year project. Of which there is a lot to do. And tax. God... tax...

And packing for Sth Africa. Hm.

Actually I don't have the presence of mind to write. I give up.

:)

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/magazine/28depression-t.html?ref=health

A new beginning?

Location: My room, Kill&Burn, London

Time: 10:29pm

Date: 28 Feb 2010, Sunday night

Listening: Rufus Wainwright

Mood: expectant - think green light at Daisy's dock... Looking forward to NYC on Wed.

It feels like every other post I start with something terribly banal along the lines of 'it's been a while and I resolve to update this more frequently going forward, blah blah'. It's like the morning after when you resolve to 'never drink again'. Or at least for a month.

Baaaaanal.

I hate banality.

So I shall recap... Top 3 and bottom 3 that reside in my memory at this moment. No time period specified

1) Tattoo party on campus last night: Amongst things that happened, our club (Nazar) winning the fashion show. Yulia sent him on stage after he's been hiding from her for most of the night (and consuming copious amount of alcohol). He proceeded to do the typical Russian man's drunk dance on the stage (I had fears of him falling off. It was close.) and LBS crowdloved it. Heeelarious!

I still had no voice and was sick - so the only thing that got me through the night was the constant stream of vodka shots which had no intoxicating effect whatsoever. I came home, skipping the after-party, and getting into bed after 6 hours on my feet was THE best thing that happened to me that day.

2) The Brazilian Carnival Party was pretty good also. I can't remember the last time I got home at 6am. Of course, it then took me 4 days to recover. Too old for this shit, clearly.

Now to the bottom...

1) Why doesn't someone I actually LIKE hit on me? 2 hits of zero interest and the guy I actually have a mild crush on turned up with a new girlfriend. Hrumph. Farken.

2) Relating to the Brazilian Carnival afterparty - I have never been begged buy a guy to go to have a drink with him. Unable to be brutal and get rid off him, I proceeded to have some of the more miserable hours of my life. I want those back. It was disturbing and unpleasant. I walked away thinking 'what the f was that...?!?' (he was alright looking, a trader from DC, staying at a swish hotel in Mayfair). I still don't know... *shudder*

Also, why don't I ever have the time to everything I want to do??? I don't even work now! Is it sleep? Do I sleep too much?? :(

Hm - Doing the test from the Divided Kingdom (http://www.dividedkingdom.co.uk/default.asp): No surprises there...

Your nature is MELANCHOLIC. Your dominant humour is BLACK BILE. Your characteristics include introspection, pessimism, and an inclination towards the intellectual. Melancholics reside in the GREEN QUARTER, whose capital is CLEDGE.

Here we go again

Time: 10pm (ish) on Sunday Night

Date: Sept 13, 2009

Location: Home - London (Kilburn - aka 'Kill and Burn')

Feeling: stressed and disorganised

Currently reading: Bleak House - Dickens.

I don't know why I have such big gaps in my writing. I spend a bit of time each day planning the entries and ideas that I would want to expound on ... and yet... Hmm.

So... where are ... Basic update

1) Just came back from a week in Mallorca. Not bad.

2) Told work that not coming back to Aust. Now just have to call Managing partner and ask for a transfer. *Shudder*.Needless to say I'm procrastinating. Can someone give me a kick?

3) Finished my internship at you-know-where (not mentioning any names should someone decide to sue. I should know. Haha) - it was not great. Far from mind blowing actually.

4) Parents coming into London tomorrow for 5 days.

5) I am addicted to an online game called Evony. Don't ask.

6) I've discovered I have a lactose intolerance. Eeek.

7) Don't watch 'Funny People'. Ever. No matter how much they pay you.

Well, that's enough of all that boring stuff....

What was it that I was planning to write?

Something was bothering me last few weeks. It's articulation of ideas. Or inadequacy of language to convey the ideas. Or perhaps the inadequacy of MY language to convey the depth of the ideas. I've been struggling with interesting / philosophical conversation lately because as soon as I put something into words it becomes banal...

And don't get me started on the pronounciation of the word 'banal'. It makes me thinking of vomitting a banana milkshake. Perhaps I shall start using the word 'trite'. Or cliche. Ideas?

So now I have a phobia of meaningful conversations. I don't know if I can adequately express myself without bringing to mind the forceful expulsion of banana milkshake from the insides of one's stomach. Even when I am drunk, I cringe... Eek.

Good books... Hmm. Straw dogs - HIGHLY recommend. Poisonwood bible - interesting, learnt much about Congo, some characters could've used another dimension. Just finished 'Divided Kingdom' by Rupert Thomson (where United Kingdom gets divided into 4 quarters based on personality types. Interestingly enough I didn't even notice the pun until it was used in the same sentence towards the end of the book. I blame Pina Coladas for breakfast, which according to the beach house bartender could knock out a horse. I worry when they say things like that. Actually, no. I don't. I just drink up and pretend it's pineapple juice.

There was one quote in the book that really struck me - so much so I ended up re reading it several times and highlighting. Whilst the idea it expresses is far from new (but then, is there anything new out there to be expressed?), the way it is expressed seemed poignant to me. I think it's positioning in the book was also critical to making the point. It may not mean much to you when I say it (it will sound banal!) but I have to write it down now, as you will be curious. And I want to capture it for myself also.

"No one ever bothers to imagine how alone other people are"

So true. *Sigh*

Affluenza

Time: 10:24am, Monday Morning
Date: 1, December, 2008 - First day of winter!
Location: Plowden Lab, LBS, London
Feeling: still sick. restless. thoughtful.

I think the first sentence of any piece of writing is the hardest. Once you start, it always just seems to flow - especially in personal writing. Of course, having said that, I am now stuck on the third sentence. *sigh*

I'm currently reading this book "Affluenza" by James Oliver. It has an interesting (if not entirely unique) premise - that many of us are infected with the "affluenza virus" that has us striving for material things that are not going to make us happy and causing high levels of emotional distress (in a nutshell). He also has a go at capitalism - arguing that it is not a good way to run things, if you care about people's emotional well-being. It seems like an interesting premise that is best summarised in perhaps 100-150 pages. He has 500. I wonder if authors get paid per page...
I have forgotten where I was going with this... Perhaps it will come back to me later in the day. Monday morning and no coffee (it makes me feel worse when I'm sick) - it's no wonder I am forgetting my own thoughts...